I have been blessed in my life to at most points have a male friend that is no complications. My male friends and I being just friends, nothing extra just a male sounding board for me and a female sounding board for him. I really appreciate those guys, they have helped me stay out of unwanted situations or helped me to stay out of them. Thanks guys you rock hard.
Now of all the reading I have done, and all of the conversations I have had with my buddies, I know one thing about guys for sure. When they tell you something, you shouldn't make up an excuse for why they would say that, or try to read in between the lines or just try to turn what they said into something that suits you better; they have said what they want you to know. A man will let you know what you are trying to find out. He will tell you either with his actual words or his actions will tell you.
What that means is that when a guy tells you that he doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't see himself ever having kids, it's not your cue to try and help change his mind. It is also not the time for you to come up with excuses for him like, oh maybe he has just been in a lot of bad relationships and needs a woman that will treat him good enough for him to marry. No, he said what he wants, or more importantly, what he doesn't want. This means that if you want those things that you need to go in the other direction, run don't walk away. Even if all you want to do is be a casual dater this is not the guy to date if your long term goals are to be married and have children.
A casual date should still be with the type of guy that you could see pursuing your goals with. The reason being, a casual date could go to the next step of being in a relationship then a serious relationship, and later. . . well not marriage because that dude doesn't believe in that. And surprise, being with you, a good, loving, woman, didn't change his mind. This is what you signed up for and your contract has just paid it self off with the promise of no marriage and no children. This guy did not set you up for a let down you set your self for a let down.
Alleviate as many issues as possible by not expecting those things that are not part of the other persons picture of the future. Be honest with yourself and don't allow yourself to believe that you are such a great person that you can change someone not willing or wanting to change.
Now of all the reading I have done, and all of the conversations I have had with my buddies, I know one thing about guys for sure. When they tell you something, you shouldn't make up an excuse for why they would say that, or try to read in between the lines or just try to turn what they said into something that suits you better; they have said what they want you to know. A man will let you know what you are trying to find out. He will tell you either with his actual words or his actions will tell you.
What that means is that when a guy tells you that he doesn't believe in marriage and doesn't see himself ever having kids, it's not your cue to try and help change his mind. It is also not the time for you to come up with excuses for him like, oh maybe he has just been in a lot of bad relationships and needs a woman that will treat him good enough for him to marry. No, he said what he wants, or more importantly, what he doesn't want. This means that if you want those things that you need to go in the other direction, run don't walk away. Even if all you want to do is be a casual dater this is not the guy to date if your long term goals are to be married and have children.
A casual date should still be with the type of guy that you could see pursuing your goals with. The reason being, a casual date could go to the next step of being in a relationship then a serious relationship, and later. . . well not marriage because that dude doesn't believe in that. And surprise, being with you, a good, loving, woman, didn't change his mind. This is what you signed up for and your contract has just paid it self off with the promise of no marriage and no children. This guy did not set you up for a let down you set your self for a let down.
Alleviate as many issues as possible by not expecting those things that are not part of the other persons picture of the future. Be honest with yourself and don't allow yourself to believe that you are such a great person that you can change someone not willing or wanting to change.
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