Keep It Sybil

I can remember reading a passage in one of Steve Harvey's books. I am going to summarize because I can't quote it.  He was talking about how he wanted a new car because his old car had broken down. But, in the yard his old car sat on blocks.  Now he had no intentions of fixing the broken car and he was praying for the new one.  Time went by and still no new car while the broken one still remained in the driveway.  Finally, one of his parents says to him, where are you going to put that new car when you are still holding on to the broken one? This is a question that we should all answer for ourselves. Well, we should only answer it if we are not afraid to be real with ourselves. Shoot, we should only ask this question if we want to be real with ourselves.  Oh now this isn't a one time thing either.  This question is so relevant in just about every aspect of our lives.  How can you expect new and different when you still have the same ol, same ol sittin...

There are so many aspects of me that have been formed only because of my past experiences.  I used to be afraid of acknowledging this in myself. Not anymore! I am proud of who I am now.  Yet, some of the times, my soul looks back and wonders how I got over. From an early age, I can remember being picked on.  Even at an early age I felt those things I was being picked on for must be very bad things inside of me.  I mean shoot, who picks on people for positive attributes?  Who indeed! Wow, what big eyes you have.  This was something I heard frequently.  As a result I begun to look down and not make much eye contact.  I now know that I have nice eyes and there are people who try and learn every trick they can to make their eyes appear larger.  The jokes on those people who pored fun of me.  Now, I have excellent eye contact and I owe it to the years of feeling horribly about my eyes.  The next object of continuing ridicule, my voice....

As the time gets closer for my impending marriage, I have several thoughts about the vows associated with the ceremony. The ones that stand out the most for me are love, honor and respect. These words are the cornerstone, to me, of a working successful marriage. I will stay with my thoughts on love.  Love is an inconvenient necessity.  There is nothing easy about having and showing love.  The greatest thing in the world is love.  I mean if you have love for a person and someone comes along and dies something to hurt that person, you could be prepared to do a myriad of things including killing that person. Yes, I believe love can give you the feeling of invincibility.  Through love you can accomplish the once thought inconceivable. Love is showing tenderness and affection towards the object of your desire.  A marriage without love is unsuccessful. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, I found out what it meant to me.  This one is so major.  Holding a person in high est...

I have been able to sit for a few days with the news that my aunt, Louvenia Cozart passed away.  I am so unsure how to process something that is inconceivable.  I had a special relationship, in my mind, with my aunt.  She was always a very great woman and someone that could make you feel better about life.  She just didn't allow you to be down when she was around. Aunt Louvenia didn't mind telling me the tales of her life.  One story in particular always stuck with me and when I would think about it I would giggle to myself.  I am not going to make an attempt to retell her story but I will give the basics.  Four of my aunts were together, including her, and someone decided that they were going to mess with one of the sisters.  Well, even to this day, in my family, if someone is messing with your family then you better let them know what a bad idea that is--quickly.  Long story short, the sisters end up get...

"I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way".  The words to this song couldn't be more true.  I truly love to interact with children who are truly wanting to interact with me.  The level of respect that a child shows is the way to know how much that child wants to interact with you.  The reason is, children are inherently unafraid; they will say and do what makes them feel good as long as they feel comfortable.  I love that about children.  I have my own biological children that are aged 17 and 19.  I love them more than I would ever be able to say.  I am also extremely proud of them.  This pride does not come from their academic lives and all they have accomplished, it is from the fact that when my children were younger, people would ask me, "what do you want your children to be when they grow up".  My answer to that question, and the fact that they have surpassed it is what makes me proud.  ...

I think that it goes with out saying, but I am still going to say it, we, as people, are made up of the experiences we have had in our life.  This means that even though some people say, you knew better than that, it's common sense, is really a fallacy.  There really isn't anything common about what each person individually knows.  Sure, as far as the legalities of life you know right from wrong, but my wrong may not be for someone else. If I grew up in an environment where there was fighting, yelling, cursing, no love and it was always every person for them self, I would think this was the norm for everyone.  Or, at the least the way I interact with others would be impacted by the way I was raised.  Therefore, if there isn't some sort of hate, or fighting, yelling and cursing, I may not be comfortable in that sort of relationship.  The fact that I was raised by parents that I have never heard raise their voices at each other, curse at each other means th...

I have been under the weather almost, for the past week.  During my time spent in bed when I just have tons of times to think, I can think about a lot of different crazy things.  I know that my stream of consciousness is hard to follow if you aren't in my head.  Well, I got to thinking about another phrase that people use all of the time and may not have really put any thought into its actually meaning. The end justifies the means. The end justifies the means?  The end justifies the means!  Having the time to sit and ponder the meaning of this phrase I have, once again, come up with my own understanding.  The end doesn't really need to be explained any further.  We all know when something is at the end.  Oh, maybe that is not true.  I have stayed in situations way beyond the expiration date.  There have been times that the end didn't smack me hard enough for me to move on.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I am not the only person...

There is an adage that says, "when the going gets tough, the tough gets going".  I know that I am guilty of repeating this saying.  I have said it plenty of times.  What exactly does it mean?  I am still unsure of what it means but I have been putting some thought into it.  I have come up with what I think the meaning of this saying is. We all have been faced with situations in our life that has beat us down. There have been times that we may feel like we just can't see our way out of.  We are not sure what we are going to do to get to the other side.  This is when everything seems to be so tough.  We may even tell people, 'I am having a tough time right now".  This is what the beginning part of the saying is for.  When the going gets tough means that when you are faced with tough times.  The second half is about what you do after. Now, the amount of times that you fall off the horse isn't the...

Yesterday I was speaking with one of my cousins and she got me to thinking.  Well, actually she got me thinking more.  I was sharing with her the fact that I was in a contemplative state and I wasn't sure why.  Then she says to me, this is the birthday blues.  Now that didn't make any sense to me given the fact that I love my birthday.  I absolutely love getting older and being able to leave behind things from the previous year that have proven themselves useless in my life.  So, I say nah that can't be it; she assured me that it is and it doesn't mean that I am depressed about anything just thinking over the past few months of my life.  Okay, okay, that makes complete sense. During our conversation she shares her thoughts with me and I share mine with her(she listens to me and speaks back to me which makes a good conversation).  It was terrific.  She is a single woman and I am in a relationship so of course the conversation turned towards ...

In life there is always a give and take.  As a little child we may not be taught this right away.  Some parents will buy the younger child a present on the older ones birthday so that the younger one doesn't feel bad about not receiving anything.  This is not a practice that  engaged in because life is never going to be so nice to your feelings.  You have to give a little to get a little; in those situations, you have to give up a little peace and quiet so that the child begins to learn the lessons of life that you don't always get what you want but you can be patient and wait for your turn or you can cry and have a tantrum and risk the chance of not getting what you want since all around you are so annoyed.  This being said, the lesson is one that some people still haven't grasped the concept of even as an adult. I know lots of different types of people.  Business people, entrepreneurs, lawyers, doctors all the way down to those who have decided to ...

I have been on the outside looking into the search for a mate with one of my cousins.  I have basically only offered the advice to be careful when meeting new people but be available to get to know a new person.  I can't really offer much in the way of relationships, I have been in a relationship for almost one year but that is after being by myself for almost six years.  Thus getting to know new people is something that I understand completely; I understand how totally scary it is to put yourself out there and open yourself up for possible rejection.  This is not however, what has gotten me perplexed about relationships.  My wonderment is about marriage. I have spent my life surrounded by married people.  My parents have been married for 40 years; I have an uncle and aunt that have been married for 38 years; An aunt and uncle that have been married for over 45 years; Another uncle and aunt that have been married for over 35 years; My pastor and his wife ...

So I was talking to my son a few days ago and he was asking me about one of our cousins.  He was speaking about her like she was a little child and I told him, "boy, that girl is 17 years old she is not a little girl".  He says back to me "I remember her as little...".  That is so funny because he just turned 19 which means he isn't really that much older than her.  That conversation got me to thinking, where does all of the time go?!?!?! I remember on December 30th 1992 while everyone in the house was downstairs watching Oprah I started having what I could only imagine were contractions.  I told my parents and then got dressed and headed to the hospital.  Four hours later, there is a little red turkey-sized baby in my arms.  It seems like the very next day he was sitting up and playing and he was a little person with a personality.  Then comes along April 14th 1995.  This time was much different. No one was with me I was home alone and the...