Yesterday I was speaking with one of my cousins and she got me to thinking. Well, actually she got me thinking more. I was sharing with her the fact that I was in a contemplative state and I wasn't sure why. Then she says to me, this is the birthday blues. Now that didn't make any sense to me given the fact that I love my birthday. I absolutely love getting older and being able to leave behind things from the previous year that have proven themselves useless in my life. So, I say nah that can't be it; she assured me that it is and it doesn't mean that I am depressed about anything just thinking over the past few months of my life. Okay, okay, that makes complete sense.
During our conversation she shares her thoughts with me and I share mine with her(she listens to me and speaks back to me which makes a good conversation). It was terrific. She is a single woman and I am in a relationship so of course the conversation turned towards relationships. From my point of view, being in a relationship, there are many concessions that must be given. From her point of view, wanting to get in a relationship, there are so many concessions that must be given. I shared with her the fact that a relationship can not be successful if both parties aren't willing to compromise with each other. She agreed but posed to me a question, "How do you know where to stop"? That is a simply wonderful question.
Let's say that there is an imaginary ruler on the ground. Each end of the ruler represents the ends of the spectrum for what you are compromising. If you were to stand on a specific number maybe, 4 then you know that you aren't willing to let yourself go too far to the left or too far to the right. The stopping point means that crossing that line will change who you are fundamentally. Crossing over means you have now become someone that you don't like or have respect for. This to me is the line for compromise. I am unwilling to compromise myself and my beliefs if I know that the outcome means that who I am will be a different person from the me I love right now.
Everyone has to decide inside of themselves what the point of stopping is for them. I do encourage others to compromise and make someone else happy as long as it doesn't change who you are fundamentally. It's surprising how helping to put a smile on someone else's face can also brighten up your life.
During our conversation she shares her thoughts with me and I share mine with her(she listens to me and speaks back to me which makes a good conversation). It was terrific. She is a single woman and I am in a relationship so of course the conversation turned towards relationships. From my point of view, being in a relationship, there are many concessions that must be given. From her point of view, wanting to get in a relationship, there are so many concessions that must be given. I shared with her the fact that a relationship can not be successful if both parties aren't willing to compromise with each other. She agreed but posed to me a question, "How do you know where to stop"? That is a simply wonderful question.
Let's say that there is an imaginary ruler on the ground. Each end of the ruler represents the ends of the spectrum for what you are compromising. If you were to stand on a specific number maybe, 4 then you know that you aren't willing to let yourself go too far to the left or too far to the right. The stopping point means that crossing that line will change who you are fundamentally. Crossing over means you have now become someone that you don't like or have respect for. This to me is the line for compromise. I am unwilling to compromise myself and my beliefs if I know that the outcome means that who I am will be a different person from the me I love right now.
Everyone has to decide inside of themselves what the point of stopping is for them. I do encourage others to compromise and make someone else happy as long as it doesn't change who you are fundamentally. It's surprising how helping to put a smile on someone else's face can also brighten up your life.
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