Keep It Sybil

I know I said I would try to write chronologically about the times I haven't been writing but.... I have a hard time staying on track.  So, I had the baby.  He is beautiful and a gift from God.  Well, this post is not about him; that will be a future post.  This is about what happens when I look in the mirror. While I was pregnant my skin looked so great, it was soft and glowing.  My body was full and slightly round because of the life I had inside of me.  I didn't feel well for most of my pregnancy but if you didn't know, looking at me you couldn't necessarily tell either.  I was simply lovely.  Stevie Wonder could have penned a new tome just for me.  Well, of course that didn't happen; truthfully nobody really paid any special or extra attention to me.  I had more interest in my ample bosom, how inappropriate done if those contents were...lol.  I regressed.  I say this to say I felt great about the whole package.  Not s...

It feels like time for a confession.  I really have so many things running through my head so putting a little seems in order. I think I have said before that one of my dad's favorite verses from the Bible says examine thyself.  This used to be a hard undertaking; not so much anymore.  Oh thank God I am not the person I used to be.  This particular self examination is very hard for me but I am reminded that diamonds are only formed under pressure.  Time to shine! I can remember being about six years old, before we stopped trick or treating, and I had a bag of candy.  I ate my favorites first just like all little kids.  Well right after I finished my favorites my dad came into my room and asked for a piece of candy.  I had just eaten them all.  He wasn't upset or anything he said alright, but I felt so bad I cried for a little while.  No one had ever heard this story before now.  What this illustrates is that I was an emotional pe...

It has been such a long time since I have shared my thoughts with the one or two people who read my thoughts.  Well, I am going to make up for the lost entries.  So many things have happened in the seven plus months I have been away.  I will try to go in chronological order. When last we met, I found out a couple of weeks earlier that my husband and I were expecting.  That news hit us like a ton of bricks. I mean of course it is a joyous occasion but there are so many emotions before you get to that point if the news is unexpected.  First one for me was terror.  I had absolutely no idea how my husband would react to this news.  Once I told him I could then go into disbelief. Shoot for the previous year and a half nothing, nothing, then we get married and on our honeymoon, impregnate me? Wow, I didn't think any of my equipment still worked in that regard. Obviously,a blessing from God. Thankful then would be my next emotion.  Oh, oh oh this was a ...

Well, I haven't really posted anything of my new life. Part of the reason for that is because while so much remains the same change is swirling around me. Some of the time I have to get outside of myself and look at me. I guess it could be considered checking myself but, more than that it is about checking into reality. I say this because just a little over two years ago things were drastically different in my life. What a difference a little time makes! January 29th, 2011, my life was never to be the same. This complete and perfect stranger sent me a message on my Facebook page; I know creepy right?!?! I read the message, and thank God for the gift of discernment, and I believed this person. Eventually he asked me out on a date, my stomach was in a knot. I was beyond nervous for several reasons: 1) I did not know this dude, 2) I did not know anyone that knew this dude, 3) he had younger kids 4) he was younger than me, 5) he had long dreadlocks, 6) I had no idea of how t...

There are only a few things in life that I truly do not like. One of those things is when people do not want to take responsibility for the wholeness of their actions. Someone once told me that excuses are tools of the devil because you are lying to yourself instead of taking responsibility. An excuse is usually given to try and keep the reaction to your actions from being a bad or negative one. This truly irks me. The only reason this bothers me us because people are always so willing to jump up and receive accolades for their good deeds but then when there is a spotlight on something they did wrong these same people get indignant and act as though they are infallible. Because of these thoughts I have a hard time with one word in particular--deserve! In general I am a very good person. I am more likely to look out for others before myself. I am a Christian that is working on my walk with Jesus and I am not selfish or stingy. Now all of that said, I have not always been the...

I have been feeling so very anxious over the past few days.  I know the reason is because in two weeks I will no longer be just me.  Then there were two!  Having this information made me think about the end and how it always turns into a new beginning. We all have driven down a road and then we look up and realize the name of the road is no longer the same.  You know you didn't make a turn, or take a fork or just veer to the side. Nothing changed except the fact that if you had to tell someone how to find you, you would have to give then a different street name than you originally would have.  This is exactly how I feel. Right now I am driving down this road, lets call it Misses Lane.  On Misses Lane I care about and care for others. I am not a loner or alone.  However, with the blink of an eye and the recitation of a few words, Misses Lane will turn into ex Misses Lane.  I won't turn or do anything else to get onto this road.  So this is ...

All over social media everyone is saying goodbye 2012 and hello 2013.  I know that there is a lot to say about leaving the past behind and moving forward with what ever is happening presently.  However, I also understand, thanks in part ot Dr. Phil, but mostly due to me living my own life, the past is a good indicator of the future.  Some of the time we have to really examine the past before we are able to make ourselves 100% available to the current opportunities in our lives. Now, examining the past is a completely different thing from living in the past.  Please don't get these two confused because believe me, that will leave you completely confused also.  So just to clarify a little I am going to explain the difference.  There was a time in my life that I had my finger on the pulse of what was happening in my city.  I could pick up the phone and make a call if I needed to know which one of the clubs was going to be the hottest for any given night...