Keep It Sybil

In the beginning of September, one day I begin cooking and by the time I am done cooking lunch, I can barely stand.  I go to lie down and rest. I got an extreme wave of fatigue.  For the next week, I am nauseated, and so dizzy that I do fall to the ground on two separate occasions.  I am concerned but not enough to go to the doctor.  I do however, decide that driving is too dangerous while I feel this way.  It gets worse.  All during this time I am up with my youngest for his virtual schooling. Well,  I am getting out of my bed to get him set up then I would lie down close enough to hear and help him if need be.  So this one particular day, I am throwing up the night before and I feel infinitely worse but then the symptom that sends me to the er.  I get finished with the virtual schooling and I am exhausted. I drag myself upstairs and climb in to bed. My chest is hurting badly and my breathing is choppy. I get my friend to drive me to the er ...

I thought we could have a grown folks talk. If you are under the age of 18, this post is not for you.  Let's just jump right in. WAP... really!  I do not like this song. I have a few reasons and I will share.  Let me say this, it is not the subject matter that keeps me from liking this song.  I mean,  I know every word to Akinyele's #1 banger, Put It In My Mouth. I am not a prude in any way.  My truth is,  if Cardi or Meg tge Stallion come on I will turn to see what else is on.  So,  the both of them on one song is a no for me. After about 3 weeks, I did break down to listen to the song. That one listen was enough for me. I couldn't take it.   I felt like they were ramming the lyrics down my throat, they made me gag, they made me choke and not in the good way. I like a little conversation and then ease me in. Take a lesson from Akinyele, he is taking with the young lady about how he would like things to go... you wanna go down why n...

As a black woman I have to stand up for myself and my sisters. I have to say that a little progress is better than nothing but there has to be more intentional fair treatment of black women. Yes, by every race, color, creed, sex but most importantly, black men. Black men and black women must stand together.  I feel like I always have to offer a preface before I speak of the rhapsody between black men and black women.  I love me some black men. Ok, Thai being said let's look at a few things.  I think we are all familiar with slavery.  The reason it worked was because of some key treatments from the master to the slave.  The master figured out how to manipulate and control a group of people that were at a disadvantage in many ways; let me make this clear,  intellect was not one of those ways. You have to be intelligent in order to survive being broken down.  Slaves were required to do the work designated by the master. The slave was denied the right to e...

The beginning of June,  I get an invitation for brunch, from my oldest son, to have brooch with him,  his girlfriend,  my mom,  sister and daughter, the weekend he was coming in town. Of course I agreed. It was June 13, 2020 and we met at Toast Summerville. My mom was out of town so it was just the five of us. The food was delicious and the company was enjoyable.  My daughter was about 45 minutes late  which was fine except I was throwing a birthday party for my husband and needed to get home to see to the food preparation. I am saying my goodbyes and my son stops me and the waitress brings out a slice of carrot cake and placed it in front of me. There are words written on the plate.  My first glance, I half-heartedly read and thought, they delivered it to the wrong person because they're wasn't a Sammy at our table. They don't pick the cake back up so I look at the plate again and then it clicks. By it, I mean the water works. My son puts his arm arou...

 The new normal is a phrase that is very overrated in my opinion.  The only reason I believe that is because as living, breathing beings,  we are forever moving and evolving.  This usually results in some sort of change that we must then get used to.  That is why the phrase is overrated.  Yes, things have changed but in my world, things are always changing. Becoming a teenager is probably when I first started noticing that things are always changing.  Shoot, you have to change classes. Your body begins to change, thanks to Mother Nature. Then your driving status changes and every other month you relationship status changes and eventually, your classification from school-aged changes to adult.  There is no one screaming at you to get used to the new normal because you are created to adapt to changes. Just like anything, there are those of us that have an easier time with adapting and those of us who may struggle a bit.  Nonetheless, as long as...

Hello, hello, hello.  I know it has been a long time.  I have sat down so many times to write.  I have several posts sitting in draft.  I would write something fun and light and then feel guilty because of the state of the world.  Then I would write something a little more aimed towards what was happening in my world and I felt angry.  I would then write about something broad and not too heavy, not too light but wasn't polarizing or me getting on a soapbox about anything, you guessed it I felt some sort of way.  One day I will post the ones that are sitting in the draft folder but not today.  Today I would like to talk about identity. For the first maybe 20 years of my life I was known as either, Sybil or Nicki. That was terrific.  I was my own person, I was called by my name.  Of course the irony of those days of my life is that I had no idea who I was aside from being my parents kid, a student, a little girl.  My inner self was no...

I love to listen to true crime podcasts and watch true crime shows.  It isn't that I like to find out about crime but I like to know what the accused is going through and how they get treated and also what those around them are feeling.  Once my dad retired from the USAF, he went to work for SCDOC as a correctional officer for a couple of years before he moved on to handle the inmates mail and their canteen.  The thing about my dad was that he never judged.  He was also very steadfast in his beliefs and nothing could sway him from that.  NOTHING! In the 80's when he started working at the correctional facility, the inmates would be allowed to practice certain trades.  He would take his car and let them do certain mechanical work.  I also remember a very beautiful picture of my nephew made with colored pencils.  Once some of the guys got out he would offer them small tasks around our home to do also.  There was one summer my cousins and m...

This post is for my oldest child.  He is very adamant about there being such a thing as light-skinned privilege.  Well, as a light-skinned person, I have got a strong opinion about this subject.  If you read my posts then you may already know which side of the line I stand on.  If not here you go. First, let's talk about the divide between the lighter and darker skinned blacks.  Yes I am aware that this exists in many other cultures and races but I have the unique vantage point of being a light-skinned black.  It's a very old topic, house vs. field.  The lighter skinned were in the house and the darker ones in the field.  This isn't really a history lesson but I do like to incite thought so let's consider this for a minute.  If slaves were from the same place they were in general, the same shades of black.  That is just biology.  That throws the field vs. house theory out the window: at least for a generation.  There were def...