As a black woman I have to stand up for myself and my sisters. I have to say that a little progress is better than nothing but there has to be more intentional fair treatment of black women. Yes, by every race, color, creed, sex but most importantly, black men. Black men and black women must stand together.
I feel like I always have to offer a preface before I speak of the rhapsody between black men and black women. I love me some black men. Ok, Thai being said let's look at a few things. I think we are all familiar with slavery. The reason it worked was because of some key treatments from the master to the slave. The master figured out how to manipulate and control a group of people that were at a disadvantage in many ways; let me make this clear, intellect was not one of those ways. You have to be intelligent in order to survive being broken down.
Slaves were required to do the work designated by the master. The slave was denied the right to education. The slave was made to give all they had including their bodies. The slave was treated as a common whore by the master. Slaves were being manipulated into feeling less than based, firstly on skin. One of the other major ways was socioeconomic. You have a place to sleep and food to eat that I provide and you deserve nothing more than that; that's the rhetoric that was literally being beaten into slave's heads. We survived!
The slave's were given their masters surname which is ironic given the fact that they weren't considered worth the value of the chattel. I guarantee you the master didn't congratulate or celebrate or elevate their slaves in any way. They truly believed that the fact that they could do it is what have them the right to do. Hundreds of years of such screwed up thinking, from both the master and the slave. Surely the strength it took our ancestors to fight and come through on the other side has pulled us out of the slave- master mentality? I want you to really think about that thing.
Slaves are "freed" and able to go out and start their new lives. Well, basically, the freed slave's are doing the exact same jobs and being treated the same way by white people but under the guise of being free. Ain't that a "b" word? What did this have to do with the modern day remained between black men and black women? I hear you asking that question and here it is.
I was born in the 70's which means I was only one half a generation up from black women receiving the basic rights of every other person in America, including the black man. WWI, WWII and the Vietnam War saw a great casualty to the black family. If the black man didn't physically die in combat he almost certainly died spiritually, mentally and emotionally. Black women were always the backbone but now they also had to step into the role of being the provider. It's cool, our backs are made of steel. What's not cool is the black woman only earned pennies on the dollar of their male counterparts. Now, here comes the connection. Black men were yelling and screaming. They wanted to be heard and to be seen because they weren't receiving their due. The black woman was standing behind them keeping their back up. Things began to look up for the black man in regards to working and earning. The black woman, not so much, that's okay though because supporting, fighting for, giving their all to their black man was an honor. This is where it gets tricky black people.
Black men then began to tell the black woman, the giver of life, the ever present support, the glue that holds the family together that they will do what is expected of them because as the provider, they already give a place to live and food on the table. Whoops!
Black men get a woman and then as the wife you take their surname. They teach through treatment that if you are with me you will give wholly of yourself, that includes physically. In modern times the pursuit of money and acquiring things is the most important thing in the black community. Black women are called names by black men, degrading ones like being called a nigger by the masters. The black man will not share all of their knowledge with the black woman to maintain an edge. Black women fight hard for black men and watch their six but we must encourage ourselves. There is no greater cheerleader of a black woman than a black woman. Black men jump ship or carry the angry black woman narrative if the black woman isn't pliant and pink and soft. Gentleman, I have a newsflash for you.
Black man, if you have a black woman that you don't celebrate, elevate, or educate you are now using the same manipulations used by the masters. Black women are the strongest and most worthy creatures in the face of the earth but even we are unable to have our own backs, fight, literally, every stereotype from every other race, faction or society on the planet, have no adulation from the black man and then be soft and pink and happy go lucky. It truly is impossible.
Of course this is a generalization. There are definitely black men that will literally lay anyone out over a black woman. I wrote this because our community is so afraid to tackle this truth. Black man, you can't continue to scream and yell for the white man to give you respect and equality when you have a black woman in your corner that you push down into the corner. I love me some black men but I am totally enamored with the black woman. Your better comes after your best goes out.
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