Keep It Sybil

I have been forced to look in the mirror at myself. This means the physical, psychological mirror. Oh my goodness, that is really a tough undertaking. What was I thinking? I wasn't necessarily thinking about anything except clearing my head and getting on with my life. Wow how did things get so beautifully messy? I am not sure how it got this way or even how I should straighten it out; but I will make the first step to clean it up. When I look in the physical mirror there are so many aspects of the reflection that don't make a whole lot of sense to me. Until I was the age of of about 22 I was slim--with a butt, hips and thighs. Then I begun taking some medication and gained about 70 pounds in 4 months. That was a huge blow to me. I couldn't figure out what to do about it. Over the next few years I gained about 30 more pounds. The little bit of self esteem and self worth I had was completely shot. I couldn't stand up for myself and I fell for a lot of crap. ...

Alright, my life has taken an unexpected turn in the past couple of months. So much has happened I am not even sure where the turn was or if it was for the good or the bad. I am reminded that in order to get to the other side of anything that you must go through first. That means there is a beginning, a middle and an end. The beginnings would be that I have gained a completely new understanding of myself. In the past I didn't mind being alone. In fact I loved to spend time by myself. This wasn't because I was comfortable with myself but that I was so incredibly uncomfortable with other people. Now that I am older I spend time with myself and truly enjoy the person I am. Now that I am comfortable with myself, I am fine with being around others. I want to be around other people now but the years I have spent alone hasn't taught me how to become friendly with others. I am dealing with this issue though so I am able to socialize with any type of person. I am turning ...