Keep It Sybil

Taking a responsibility break is absolutely essential to leading a fulfilling life. I realized how important it was and decided that I had to do it; and quickly so that I could recharge and be able to handle the responsibility my life has for me. It's not a bad thing to take your me time. Like Heather Headley sang, I need some me time, not some you or some us but a little bit of she time. I was having a moment in my life where I felt like everyone is pulling on me. Somebody always wants something from me, which is fine but I am unable to give anything if I don't have anything left to give. Once I came to this realization, I knew this is what I have to do for me before I have some sort of mental breakdown. So I left everyone and my responsibility behind for the day. I checked into a hotel and just ate sushi, read magazines and watched television. I didn't answer any calls, do any homework, or even do any grooming for the day. I took a total me day. Okay in all fairn...

Now that I am totally over my birthday I have realized a few things about life. The main and most important thing to me is that I have to live for where I currently am. It's just like I believe in meeting a person where they are I never extended that thought to myself. I have been way hard on myself. Well, it's time to get beyond that. Why have I been putting things off because I am not where I think I should be. I am a single woman and the only thing I am really not allowed to do is to go to a couple's activity. Why should I stay at home instead of traveling on my own? There is no problem with going an experiencing new things just because I am doing it on my own. I am not an island so that means that where ever I go there will be other people there. Other people I can speak with and maybe get to know well enough that they and I will become friends. Being single is not a sentence to being lonely yet it may mean that there are times that you have to do things alone....

If you looked at my life and seen what I've seen. Life can be only what you make it, when you're feeling down you should never fake it, say whats on your mind, and you'll find in time, that all the negative energy will all but cease. And you'll be at peace with yourself, you won't really need no one else, except for the Man up above, because he'll give you love. Take your time baby don't you rush a thing don't you know I know we all are struggling? I know it is hard but we will get by, and if you don't believe in me, just believe in Him. Cause He'll give you peace of mind, yes He will. And you will see the sunshine, for real, yes you would. And you'll get to free your mind, and things will turn out fine, yes they would, yes they would. These are some of the lyrics to MY LIFE, as sung by Mary J. Blige. And all of these years later this song is as relevant now as it was then. The experts say that you have formed an opinion about someone, ...

Right now I am member of one social networking site. That is down from about 3 at one point. I stopped with the other two because one was like a pick-up joint, and the other was not as proficient as the one I am still on. I like the fact that it can connect you with people you have lost contact with or people who may be interested in your particular services and things of that nature. There are also a few things I don't like about it. Actually, these things really upset me. The first thing is that some people get offended with you when you don't want to be (fill-in-the-blank with social network) friends. Is it really that serious? Really, if you and I have gotten along thus far in life without being able to see pictures of each other, or read mundane aspects of each others life, or inviting each other to play games, etc. . ., then we will probably continue to live our lives. I have yet to hear of someone dying because their request to be someones friend was ignored or d...

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday to meeeee, happy birthday to me! Today is my birthday and I got to thinking about a few things. Well, I thought about me. I thought about how people don't think they make a difference because they are just one person. Well, that's what I wondered about, have I made a difference in anyone's life? Well, I have had the great fortune of a few people telling me that I have helped them and made a difference in their life. I am always honored to hear this because it is a special thing when people let you in on their personal thoughts about you. Usually people wait until a person is gone then they are at the funeral whooping and hollering about how the world is missing a good person now. The fact that a few people have given me this knowledge while I am still here is so beautiful. This lets me know that just one person can make a difference. Without me a few things would be different: 1. My son and daughter would n...

A question was posed to me this evening that I hadn't though about in a while. The truth of the matter is, is that I hadn't thought about it in years because I constantly thought about it for over a year. One of my little cousins asked me about breaking up with a longtime boyfriend. She asked because she knows that I was madly in love with a man for almost 5 years and then it ended, basically one night in Las Vegas. For the better part of two years I constantly wondered what I did wrong. I thought I don't think I will ever feel like this about a person again. I will never meet another guy that is so compatible with me. All of these thoughts were self defeating and they are what helped me to stay in the place of self-doubt. That's not a good place to be. Well, long story short, he and I are friends now after almost 5 years and I couldn't feel better about myself, inside and out. So, the advice I gave to her was to empower herself. I told her she needs to make...

New York Fashion Week is over and London Fashion Week has begun. I have a few favorite designers and I will get online and see what was debuted. Well, Fall 2010 has not been a let down at all. I would describe myself as simple and classic so those are the types of clothes I like to look at. I like what Elie Tahari did plus others like Diane von Furstenburg(a perennial favorite), Calvin Klein, The Row(yes, by MK & A Olsen), and Carolina Herrera to name a few. Well, Carolina Herrera had the best accessory--the hat! When I see beautiful hats I start to hear chimes and angels singing with a spotlight directed on the hat. This was how I felt when I looked at her fall show. The hats were stupendous. If I had to make a choice between other clothing or one of the hats from her runway, I would definitely choose the hats. After I saw the hats I thought I have to find an affordable version of those hats. I have yet to do so but I will not stop until I have a very reasonable facsimile ...

In church today one of the ministers directed our attention towards Haggai. Haggai 1:2 to be exact and the part that grabbed me was the part that said consider your ways. I thought wow that is good. That is soooo gooood! Consider your ways! How great is that as a reminder to His people? It is in direct parallel to another Bible verse that tells you to examine yourself. This means so much to me. This actually meant a lot to my development into the person I am today. I am a believer. I am certainly a true believer in these words and it's practically hidden away in one of the shortest books of the Bible. The lesson to be learned, as far as I can tell, is that every person should look in the mirror when they realize that things aren't going the way they think they should. It means that if you see that something needs to be done then you can't complain that no one is doing it because guess what, you are part of that no one. Concern yourself with yourself and deal with ...

They say that children are a good judge of character. For this reason I always like people that children seem to also like. The fact that children are at ease around them lets me know that the child has not gotten any bad feelings about that person. I also listen when a child speaks. Kids say the darnedest things is a saying for a good reason--because it's true.

I am a good listener. Because of this people don't usually have a problem opening up to me about things they may not normally speak of. That's okay because I am also a good secret keeper. I am generally, not the person spilling someone elses secrets. This may be the reason that I like to read some of the gossip blogs, or goblogs as I call them. Over the years, I have been told plenty of things. Oh I forgot I also don't usually lend my two cents unless someone asks or a loved one is, in my opinion, in trouble. That fact lends itself to people also doing things in front of me that they may not want most people to know about. Oh boy, the things that I have in my head because of these two traits--it is astounding! So I was speaking with one of my cousins the other day and she wanted to tell me something that she swore me to secrecy. I was excited to hear because it was about a celebrity that stayed at her hotel. So she begins telling me her story and the first part was...

When is enough enough? This is an interesting question that has a different answer depending upon who you are asking the question to. There is also a chance that the answer will change with the persons stage in life. I know for myself this answer has been different multiple times in my life. I can remember the fact that as a younger girl, maybe as a teenager, I would say, adamantly, if my boyfriend cheats on me that is the end of that relationship. Then I was put to the test. When I was about 16 I had a boyfriend in high school. We went to two different high schools so he could basically do what he wanted to do at his school. Well, it turns out he was. One evening I receive a call from the friend of one of my cousins and she gives me some information. She was a basketball player at the school he attended and while she was watching the boys game a young lady happened to pick her to ask about my boyfriend. She asked if my cousins friend knew him and if she saw him at the game. ...

I absolutely love the now cancelled but syndicated television show Gilmore Girls. I think that I felt sort of a sisterhood with Lauren Graham's character Lorelei Gilmore. She had a kid at 16 and I had a kid at 17. Like me, she is full of fun when it's that time and straight mothering when it's that time. I love that about her, and about me. Then I just realized today that another aspect of the show that draws me in is the fact that the nerd isn't a typical nerd. Also the fact that she is hot, nice, cute and adorable. I want to see a movie on the big screen that features a character just like that. I am sick of the nerds looking "nerdy" and being the sidekick to the "hot" girl. Why can't the hot girl and the nerd be the same girl? I don't think that I am hot but I am not completely unfortunate looking and I'm a smart girl. I knew plenty of girls in high school that was good-looking and smart and any one of us could have been the m...

This afternoon I had a good conversation. What came of this conversation was me wondering about a couple of things. First of all I am the type of person that prefers to have as much information as possible. I can't stand being on a need to know basis about anything. If a little bit of pain comes from the information given to me, I will be better in the long run regardless of the pain. It's easier to get beyond something when their is a lot of information. This is why families of people who commit suicide have such a hard time getting over that death. The reason is because they have no reason why this happened and questions that continue to appear since there is no answer. Next, I like to believe that regardless of who is or isn't watching my behavior is consistent. I don't showboat or try to act like someone that I am not. I generally don't have a problem making the hard choices and letting someone know what is on my mind. I could sometimes, be perceived as...

Well I had a pretty good Valentines Day yesterday. I was my own valentine and that was just fine with me. I showed myself a good time. I love me! I am a laid back person so it takes a lot for me to really get upset. That being said I am a bit upset. I had a really great day today. I bought a pair of white jeans(for the summer), and had a nice steak for dinner then when I get home and check my email, it appears to have been hacked into. I have a few emails that couldn't be delivered and then messages from a couple of people asking me why I sent them this particular email. I don't know what they are talking about, I wasn't even on the Internet since early this morning. Needless to say I started to think about who could have possibly done this. Only one person comes to mind. Now the problem is is that the only person that has ever had my information is the person that helped me set up my blog, a person I thought was a friend of mine. Ironically, the day after my blo...

God is love!

Valentines Day is upon us. I don't have a man so I will be facing this holiday without that part of the equation. That is okay though because the most important part is always here--me. Because this holiday is about love that is what I will continue to do for myself. I have come to a realization that seems to be a prevalent issue. For the first few years of life, maybe from about birth to 4 or 5 years of age, a person really loves themselves. A child this age doesn't really know anything except themselves and their parents. The parents take almost total care of the child. The child doesn't have to worry about getting what they want. Of course this is a broad generalization. Because of this they are equally in love with their parents and themselves. This concept changes pretty quickly. The next stage of life from about 5 to 12 or 13, the stage where the child is trying to force others to realize who they are. They want to be recognized as a person separate from th...

How many signs does a person need to realize that time is winding up? Prepare yourself. The book of Revelations explains how there will not be defined seasons as the end gets closer. All over the world their are signs present in the weather.

I have so much on my mind tonight that I am just going to wonder aloud about the issue of greatness. My bff shared with me the name of a person that he said was his hero. Well, the other person has no idea and when asked why that person was his hero he had a really great answer. The answer was this person is my hero because he isn't afraid to try for what it is he wants. He doesn't let others discourage or distract him from his goals. And if his venture doesn't work exactly like he wants that doesn't discourage him from going full force with his next idea. I think that is great. To me that is what possibly creates greatness in a person. A great person does what others are afraid of doing. I strive for greatness and one day I can be someones hero too!

The Manual lets us know that obedience is greater than sacrifice. The reason for this may be that sacrifice is one of the things that you should be obedient to. As I said in my previous post, Lent is fast approaching which means the time for fasting. The definition of a fast is a sacrifice--one of the definitions. The Bible also says when you fast which means that there will come a time in your life, as a Christian, when you will need to fast. Some things will only come through praying and fasting so a breakthrough may only be around the corner when you pray and fast.

The season of Lent is fast approaching. Not all faiths or religions participate with the events of Lent. I take this as a very serious thing for my faith. The Manual tells us that not all answers can come through prayer but that it must be accompanied by prayer. Just as most people I have ups and downs. I have issues of life that I could use help with solving. Therefore Lent is an important time for me. During this time there are to be 40 days of fasting and prayer. Because as a Christian I am told, by the Word, that I am to pray for others and hold concern for others so the first 30 days of the fast will be a time to pray for others. I am to have an intercessory prayer for other people to help with their breakthrough. It is during the first 30 days that we are having a corporate fast. This is not the time to have a selfish prayer. The last 10 days of the fast are more rigorous than the first 30. During the first 30 there are only a few things that are to be removed from a p...

I wonder how many people know what to do when right goes wrong. Today has been a day for me to ponder life from this point of view. There are two particular situations that have led me to think on this situation. The first one would be pertaining to love. Love is always so beautiful and grand when it is good--on both sides. As long as both people are willing and able participants in the love affair things are so wonderful. This was not the case bought to my attention. There is a beautiful young woman that goes out to lunch with a few friends and across the diner is the greatest looking guy she has ever seen. He is across the room feeling the exact same way. This young man, let's call him Todd, crosses the diner and lets her know of his intentions--to get to know her. For six months these two people are madly in love with each other. Seemingly over night, the woman no longer wishes to be with this gentleman. This is when right goes wrong. Now what does the young woman do...

I always say that the role a person plays in high school is not too far from the role that a person plays in adult life. Adult life is just like high school--but with a job. This is a theory that I have seen replayed repeatedly. If there is a person in high school that likes to cause drama or be in the middle of drama the only difference is that the drama could be something that effects a persons whole life not just their high school life anymore. The person in high school that always tried to act like they are more than they are or have more than they have, will still be that person in adult life. The quiet ones are usually going to be quiet. It stays the same. Now this is not to say that people can't change or improve themselves because they can. This is not a steadfast theory. The adult that has examined their lives and realized how to make themselves better, can very well become a different person. The key is that the person has to want better for themselves. They also...

We are currently in the midst of Black History Month here in the United States of America. I have seen the polls and questions being asked about this particular month. They want to know should we continue to have a black history month? This is a loaded question. As a citizen of the United States of America, there has always been a void where our history was concerned. That being said, we have to do our own research and learn how to fill in the blanks left by going to a standard history class. The ironic thing about this is that during this month, while in a school, the black people that are being taught about are the same people that have appeared in standard history books. So this begs the question, for me, What is the purpose of Black History Month? Is the purpose just to say that the government has recognized that we have a history? Or is it just a way for the government to let us know that because we haven't been included in standard history that during the short month o...

There are less than three weeks until my 35th birthday and I have begun to reminisce. I love getting older and being able to look back over my life because each year gives me more memories. I can't necessarily say that I had a birthday in the past that was a big blowout. As children my parents gave us little birthday parties but there was never anything that was crazy and out of control. As I became an adult and started celebrating my birthdays my way I could do whatever I wanted. The problem is that I didn't know what else I could do besides have a party with friends--and a few drinks! It turns out that I really didn't really want that it was just something to do. As my birthday fast approaches I will once again decide how I will celebrate my entry into another year of life. What I have decided about this year is that for the first time in my life, the past will remain there. I will spend my birthday planning out my future instead of trying to re-live the past.

A little over a year ago I began having a pain in my left foot. I decided I must go to the doctor because foot pain is no joke. I went and my gp referred me to a podiatrist. My podiatrist took x-rays and eliminated a broken bone as the cause of my pain. What he found was that I was suffering with a bunion. A bunion! First I ask the usual questions, Did I do something to cause this? because I don't wear shoes that are tight or too small or just rub my feet the wrong way. My doctor assured me that it was genetic--I can't be mad about that cause aside from this little thing I come from a good gene pool. Well the next question I ask is, How do we stop the pain? His response was that he could give me steroid shots every couple of months. I got one and that was more painful than the original pain so the next step is surgery. OMG! No heels for how long? Anyone that knows me knows that I have a great love for shoes. I would choose a good pair of shoes over food. The time I had to spend...

Esther was a beautiful woman of the Bible. She was able to accomplish what no one else had been able to do--get next to the king. As the story goes she had sway with this powerful man because of her extremely good looks. After hearing this story again recently it made me wonder if being beautiful was something that gained that person special access. Well, history tells us that wars were started over women because of their beauty. Last year I watched an Oprah show and they were talking about the physical traits that makes a person beautiful. There was something about the set of your eyes. The distance between your eyes. The symmetry of your face and how close or far apart your nose is from your upper lip. There is a whole formula that determines if you are beautiful or not. These scientists also studied the reactions, that those who scored higher on the beauty scales, elicited from others. This report stated that the beautiful people had an edge over those that were not scored a...

Valentines day is fast approaching and as of right now, I don't have a valentine of my own. I am, however, going to a little Valentines mixer on February 12th. Well, when questioned about what my age requirements are for men I would be willing to date I responded with between the ages of 28 and 43. A couple of the married women were like 28 is too young for a soon-to-be 35 year old. I tried to explain to them that there is a sliding scale. There are some life experiences that serve as a helper to raise your life age above your biological age. These are a few: 1. Have his own place--2 years. 2. Own his own car(that is not something you see in a down south rap video)--1 year. 3. Currently employed--1/2 year for every year. 4. Currently in their chosen career--2 years. 5. Chivalrous--2 years. 6. Nice dresser(no sagging pants and gigantic tees)--1 year. 7. Pays bills on time--1/2 year. 8. Not a club rat--1 year. 9. Not a mall rat--1 year. As I said, these are few of the t...

According to the Bible there is a purpose for everything under heaven. Everything has a season. This means that things, people and even places don't last forever. I have experienced a lot of people leaving my life. There have actually been more people who have fulfilled their needs for my life and left, than there have been people of my life that have died. Don't get me wrong, there are people that are placed in your life to take the whole journey with you. They are a motivating factor to your life. They lift you up and you lift them up. In my opinion this is a soul mate. For me it's just like every other area of your life, people fit into to certain categories. A soul mate may be a friend that takes the meaning of friendship to a different level. There is also a romantic soul mate and a familial soul mate. People life is not static this person may change. So, if you have lost the person you think was your soul mate, no worries some one else will come along to f...