Fred Sanford

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago and I told him a story that I am going to tell now.  This is a true story. The thing about me is that I will look back at situations and figure out what it was teaching me.  I do not believe in coincidences, so everything has the potential to teach a lesson.  This knowledge is what keeps me from being bitter or stuck.  I am a person that will take quality over quantity every time. This is a story about just that.

I hear people ask what your love language and I always say that I don't have just one.  I am a Pisces so in true Pisces form, I take a little from each.  In my last relationship, I loved to give gifts and give experiences. To me, giving a gift shows that you have put time and effort into buying something that would be appreciated and loved by the recipient.  I gave from my heart with exactly this in mind.  Birthdays, Father's Day, Christmas' all good times for gift giving and party throwing.  I took advantage of this because the other person liked to be celebrated and seen. I would do my part to make sure that was accomplished. For several years, at least one of those gifts would be a watch. 

Because I value quality, I would save up for months and buy a nice watch. They would range in price from $200-$900, so they weren't very expensive, but they were not cheap.  They were high quality.  Sure, I could have gotten a bunch of $50 watches, and he could have had a huge collection of watches.  The collection would have been of junk though, so I did not go that route.  Over the years I purchased maybe 7 watches for the other person.  I would definitely wear the ones that had leather bands because I love watches also.  I knew the collection was nice quality timepieces and I felt great about it.

There would come a time where I noticed some of the watches were missing from the watch case and so I inquired of their whereabouts. With arrogant nonchalance I was told they did not know where the watches were.  I suppose that my asking caused the other person to look for them and place them into the case.  There would also begin to be a new collection of watches that would appear.  Not any that I purchased but they were being purchased by the other person. This was a junk collection.

The new collection of watches was being purchased in kiosks in the mall and knockoffs.  The collection grew large, and the quality collection was no longer being worn in favor of wearing a different watch every day of the week from the junk collection. I didn't realize it then, but time gives a new perspective.  I would learn towards the end of that relationship that he kept a collection of women on the side.  He told me once, that he was not stupid, why would he stop talking to other women just because he got married? His behaviors in purchased mirrored his personal life and I didn't realize that until I was on the other side of it.

He had a wife that was loyal, kind, loving, giving, caring, beautiful and talented but he decided to build a collection on the side of the quality he already had.  I would never say the other women were junk, but everyone knew he was married so they could not be classified as quality women.  He had quality but favored quantity.  When it was all said and done, I took the watches I could find and had the links taken out to fit my wrists. The other person has asked about other lower quality things like a couple of cardigans because the preference is quantity over quality. I have moved forward with this lesson.

I know I will get married, and my husband will choose quality over quantity as I do.  I will take pride in providing him with all the things that fit into his love language. I just want you to realize that a person not seeing that you are a quality person is their issue not yours.  They prefer to have junk or quantity over quality so don't let that be how you decide your worth.  You can find someone that prefers quality over quantity.  You are valuable regardless of the junk collector's preference.