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Don't stop believing

Karma, kismet, fate, destiny, God... whatever you call it, it's a real thing.  I am a person that believes everything, everything has energy.  This is why I always try to remain positive.  Yes,  there was definitely a dark period in my life but even in that,  I tried not to project that energy on anyone. I always led with a pure heart and love. During the dark times, the one thing I knew for sure was,  I was a good person and I did everything out of love. Love! 

One thing about being on my healing journey is,  I had to face things about myself.  There were days that were brutal for me.  Really seeing your deficiencies is not easy.  At first I wanted to hide and never come out again.  I allowed so much negativity into my life that I was a different person.  Hard path but worth it one hundred percent. 

At the beginning of this year I was still in a dark place but slowly coming to terms with myself and coming back into my light. Let me tell you,  being in my light again has been so great. I have found my love for myself once again and that's the greatest part of being on my journey.  The other part is being able to once again, to truly give love and to be loved by others. I am surrounded by people that I love and that love me but now I have a new friend.  My best friend truly. 

My best friend is a wonderful man that let's me ramble, be goofy,  act crazy and everything else that I go through as a true Pisces, with not one ounce of judgement.  He actually encourages and supports all aspects of who I am. This is a true friendship.  It's not physical yet he has pushed me to improve my walk with Jesus,  he has helped me to improve my confidence and when I'm emotionally spinning out he doesn't stop me, he waits for me to come to a full stop.  He isn't my man but he is a wonderful man. 

If I'm happy,  he's the first person I want to talk to,  if I'm sad he can pick me up, if I'm confused, he listens and helps me sort things out.  I believe God sent him into my life so I could have hope again and trust that all men don't want something from you and that they can still be gentle,  kind, a good communicator, loving and respectful.  He has restored in me the part of my light that I was ok with not lighting back up. The thoughts of one day being alright to give love to and be loved by a black man. Black love can heal the world and now I know I am capable of being a part of that. I give an honor to God for this.  My new best friend is my blessing from God. I tell this story to encourage you.  This is a love story... self love! First love God and do your hardwork so the love will grow inside of yourself. If I can do it anyone can,  I promise. Love is always worth it. 
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