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Soul Pouring

I have been having an overload of emotions in the past few weeks.  I am not sure who to talk to though because I feel as well as told that no one really wants to hear about a person's emotional issues.  Personally, I like to hear of people's emotional struggles because it gives insight into the personality of that person.

If you meet a person that had been raped but you hadn't heard their story, you would not understand why they make such a fuss about being put out of the car directly in front of their destination.  You probably look at them as being difficult or too lazy to walk the couple of blocks from the garage.  Once you know they were grabbed as they walked two blocks and brutally raped, only then are you able to sympathize. 

You may wonder why a person doesn't laugh, smile, cry or show any type of emotion except anger until you hear their story.  The only emotion ever shown was anger and all others were looked at as a weakness.  Without hearing his they were raised, you grab be no idea that the reason everything makes them angry is because for them that means they are showing strength at not weakness.

This fact is the reason I am so transparent as a person.  I don't want to be treated with pity but if you can understand that as a child I was picked on relentlessly about the way I speak and look. Because I spoke properly and was so light I could pass,  that can help you understand why I like to talk now since I didn't until I was in my late twenties and felt bad and why I love to hear great compliments is not because I am basin but because until my late twenties I thought I was hideous looking because I wasn't being accepted as black.  The psyche isn't an easy thing to move beyond.

Growing up I wanted to be a psychiatrist so I could understand what was hoarding beneath the surface that caused the actions on the surface.  Because I didn't earn that degree I don't have a complete understanding of this concept but I have enough knowledge to realize it exists.

Oh, just in case anyone does want to know, next month would be my dad's birthday and also Valentine's day.  My dad always have my mom something for Valentine's day and I know my mom is hurting too.  It's really all a lot of hurt for others and knowing there is no way of stopping any of that hurt.  I challenge you to learn someone else's story and gain a bee understanding for them and life.

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