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20,000 leagues under the sea!

It feels like time for a confession.  I really have so many things running through my head so putting a little seems in order.

I think I have said before that one of my dad's favorite verses from the Bible says examine thyself.  This used to be a hard undertaking; not so much anymore.  Oh thank God I am not the person I used to be.  This particular self examination is very hard for me but I am reminded that diamonds are only formed under pressure.  Time to shine!

I can remember being about six years old, before we stopped trick or treating, and I had a bag of candy.  I ate my favorites first just like all little kids.  Well right after I finished my favorites my dad came into my room and asked for a piece of candy.  I had just eaten them all.  He wasn't upset or anything he said alright, but I felt so bad I cried for a little while.  No one had ever heard this story before now. 

What this illustrates is that I was an emotional person.  Now don't get this twisted, this over abundance of emotion is linked only to love.  At that age, for some reason I had in my head that showing my feelings and emotions was a bad thing that is why after that incident with my dad I sat on my bed in my room with my door closed and sobbed quietly.  I maintained this persona for a very long time.  As I got older I hid my emotions because I was picked on for numerous things and I had to stand up and fight for myself and that wouldn't bode well if I was seen as overly emotional. This also helped cultivate my extreme sarcasm.  I am very quick witted because of this.

Only those who really knew me could see past the rouse; this unintentional rouse. 

My confession is that I am an emotional person.  I just feel very deeply for those I love.  This to me means that I will protect those I love fiercely.  I will fight hard, very hard! But I will also do everything in my power to show you how deep my feelings are for you.  I am also loyal to a fault and this pushes me to do all I can to make my loved ones feel safe, secure and loved. 

This also means that you don't want to get on my bad side because as protective as I am over my loved ones is as vicious as I can be towards those who are trying to cause a rift with any of those I love so deeply.  At my age I don't presume that this will change at all.  I don't want it to change because it makes me who I am. You can take me or leave me but if you take me know that if I pour my love on you that I will come with every ounce of my intensity.

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 29, 2013 at 4:59 PM

    Once again cousin I am gaining insight into the true you and that is great. I already knew you were an emotional person and to me it is one if not your best quality. You must continue to be you and not be afraid of that person. To all of us who know and love you it is easy to stay on that good side. But if I got on your bad side I really wouldn't worry because I think I can take you in a fight and since I am way darker than you I would just attack you at night because I would be close to invisible. LOL I love you cousin and once again continue to shine bright and let no one distinguish your fire.

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