As Christmas is fast approaching I am visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present and the future. Even though my visits are not quite as Dickensian as one may hope, they are none the less, interesting to say the least. The reason for my visits though are not to keep me from being a scrooge-they are to remind me of the wonderful life I have had up to this point. So the past ghost is the one that has the most time and the most memories.
The earliest memories I have of Christmas would be at the age of three, right before I was turning four years old. We lived in Delaware and every Christmas, my parents would drive us out to this house on the outskirts of the city where the whole house would be lite up. This house was so amazing even by today's standards. They had so many lights that there was a collection box so that those who visited the home could drop in donations that would go towards the enormous electric bill the owners would receive after the beginning of the year. This was the first thing that we would do and the next would be take a trip down south. Charleston here we come! The ride was a long one and we always left at a time that we would arrive at our grandparents house in the middle of the night. I can still remember the excitement I felt as we turned onto their street. Grandma always had lights and decorations on the house so even though it may not have been as elaborate as the house in Delaware it was way better. It was better because I knew that once we stepped inside of the house that there would be cakes and pies and food and best of all, family. That was great but unfortunately we would have to move.
While we lived in Japan one Christmas I received a very big, brown teddy bear that I absolutely loved. I loved that bear. I had that bear until I was almost twenty years old. Living in Japan we had to have a new family. We had a lot of friends that would become our family and we always spent the holidays together. I have fond memories of that time also but there really is no place like home. Moving back to the States was at first something I didn't want to do but, once I was able to see my extended family again was wonderful. December 30th, 1986 was the night we showed up on my grandparents doorstep again. So much was different-grandpa passed away, Bigma moved in-while lots of things remained the same-family and food. Getting older things are always different.
The next Christmas I really looked forward to was the Christmas of 1992. My son was due on December 24th of that year and I was ready to see him. Well, he had other plans and didn't come until the 30th so my Christmas was filled with oh's and ah's since I just wanted this kid to get out. By the end of a pregnancy you are just tired and I was definitely tired. That Christmas was certainly the end of all of the childhood greatness of Christmas. All of the gifts cease for you and come in for the baby. Now there are responsibilities. Now I could get to know the joys of giving.
I am not saying that I haven't gotten a Christmas present in the past 19 years. I will say that they were just smaller in numbers. This now brings us to the Christmas of 2011. The Christmas that as far as I am concerned is the beginning of the future for me. I am in a relationship with a man that is unlike any other relationship I have ever had. This one is a real adult relationship and the first time I will have a real adult Christmas. For me it is not the amount of the gifts I may receive but the thought. I know that that is a cliche' but I understand the pathos of it now. If he gave me a membership to the dessert of the month club I would be happy with that because that means that he is really paying attention to me and he knows that I live for dessert. The thought that goes into the purchase is what makes it so special. The gift shows what someone is paying attention to about you if anything. I don't want the obligatory gifts like a gift card or some sort of voucher. There is absolutely no thought or love that has gone into that. This Christmas is upon us and I am sure that it will be great. I hope to have new traditions with the family that I hope to really become a part of and that in future Christmas' I will wholly be involved in. The future is not for me to tell.
Therefore, the ghost of future Christmas had a short message to share. I will share the words with you and hope that you take heed to them as I am. "The future is told by the lessons of your past".
The earliest memories I have of Christmas would be at the age of three, right before I was turning four years old. We lived in Delaware and every Christmas, my parents would drive us out to this house on the outskirts of the city where the whole house would be lite up. This house was so amazing even by today's standards. They had so many lights that there was a collection box so that those who visited the home could drop in donations that would go towards the enormous electric bill the owners would receive after the beginning of the year. This was the first thing that we would do and the next would be take a trip down south. Charleston here we come! The ride was a long one and we always left at a time that we would arrive at our grandparents house in the middle of the night. I can still remember the excitement I felt as we turned onto their street. Grandma always had lights and decorations on the house so even though it may not have been as elaborate as the house in Delaware it was way better. It was better because I knew that once we stepped inside of the house that there would be cakes and pies and food and best of all, family. That was great but unfortunately we would have to move.
While we lived in Japan one Christmas I received a very big, brown teddy bear that I absolutely loved. I loved that bear. I had that bear until I was almost twenty years old. Living in Japan we had to have a new family. We had a lot of friends that would become our family and we always spent the holidays together. I have fond memories of that time also but there really is no place like home. Moving back to the States was at first something I didn't want to do but, once I was able to see my extended family again was wonderful. December 30th, 1986 was the night we showed up on my grandparents doorstep again. So much was different-grandpa passed away, Bigma moved in-while lots of things remained the same-family and food. Getting older things are always different.
The next Christmas I really looked forward to was the Christmas of 1992. My son was due on December 24th of that year and I was ready to see him. Well, he had other plans and didn't come until the 30th so my Christmas was filled with oh's and ah's since I just wanted this kid to get out. By the end of a pregnancy you are just tired and I was definitely tired. That Christmas was certainly the end of all of the childhood greatness of Christmas. All of the gifts cease for you and come in for the baby. Now there are responsibilities. Now I could get to know the joys of giving.
I am not saying that I haven't gotten a Christmas present in the past 19 years. I will say that they were just smaller in numbers. This now brings us to the Christmas of 2011. The Christmas that as far as I am concerned is the beginning of the future for me. I am in a relationship with a man that is unlike any other relationship I have ever had. This one is a real adult relationship and the first time I will have a real adult Christmas. For me it is not the amount of the gifts I may receive but the thought. I know that that is a cliche' but I understand the pathos of it now. If he gave me a membership to the dessert of the month club I would be happy with that because that means that he is really paying attention to me and he knows that I live for dessert. The thought that goes into the purchase is what makes it so special. The gift shows what someone is paying attention to about you if anything. I don't want the obligatory gifts like a gift card or some sort of voucher. There is absolutely no thought or love that has gone into that. This Christmas is upon us and I am sure that it will be great. I hope to have new traditions with the family that I hope to really become a part of and that in future Christmas' I will wholly be involved in. The future is not for me to tell.
Therefore, the ghost of future Christmas had a short message to share. I will share the words with you and hope that you take heed to them as I am. "The future is told by the lessons of your past".
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