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You better recognize

 As I continue on my healing journey, I have come to several realizations. These realizations have really helped me to see the things I did wrong. Now, I have always been able to admit when I was wrong and apologize accordingly. These wrongs are not things I can apologize for though.  They are wrongs that I must acknowledge and accept in order to continue to move forward. It's all a part of the journey.

When we do something blatantly wrong it is easy to see.  I believe the majority of us go back and apologize for the wrongdoing and then that is the end of it. As little children you are taught not to steal.  Some parents would take their kids back to the place their child stole from and make the child return the item or items and issue an apology to the wronged party. That is an easy wrong to recognize.  Children are also taught not to cheat in school.  In that instance, if the child gets caught, their parents may make them apologize but they child must also face consequences whether that is to take a zero or have to redo the assignment. This too is an easy wrong to recognize. The course of action to correct these actions are fairly simple also.  What are we taught about the wrongs that aren't so simple?

This is the point of my healing process that I am on.  This one isn't one of my wrongs I am processing but it is a common one.  Have you ever gotten into an argument or been done wrong by a person and that puts you in a bad mood? You are snapping at other people, or giving others an attitude because you are pissed about what happened with someone else.  This is wrong.  The thing is, a lot of people don't look at that as a wrong.  Because of that, there is no acknowledgement, apology or a change in that behavior.  In fact, there is usually a rationalization made.  We have heard it all before, "they need time to cool down", or "you know how they are when they are upset" or a myriad of other excuses to the behavior. None of them make it less wrong. These are the types of wrongs that I have begun to reconcile with myself. 

It is not an easy thing to see, I am learning. I thought I was self-aware enough to see me for me. Though I look inward often, there have definitely been behaviors I overlooked or rationalized instead of seeing for the wrongs they are. Doing this work has bruised my ego which is a good thing actually.  I want to become a better person; a person who isn't too good to let go of the things that don't serve that purpose. I am grateful for this healing journey. The path that led me on this journey is one that I wouldn't wish on even my worst enemy, but I am grateful for it nonetheless. I challenge you to see the less conspicuous wrongs you commit and make the necessary changes to be a better version of yourself. Stay encouraged.

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