I was born in the 70's; 1975 to be exact. Once I got of age where I could read inferences and people it was the early 80's. From 1980-1983 my family and I lived on the tiny Japanese island of Okinawa. Well, racism wasn't a part of my consciousness. That would change soon enough though.
Once returning to the states, we lived another 3 years in a small California town, Atwater. Living here, I became more aware of race. It was a military town so it had a mixture of races and races mixed. I had Hispanic, white, black and Asian friends; this was common place.
At the age of 11 my world blew up. My dad retired from the Air Force and our family moved one last time, to the South. Because I have always been an avid reader, I was in tune with my heritage and my blackness. Being a lighter- skinned black girl, knowing my heritage wasn't enough. The isms within my own race would become very prominent.
There were a group of girls that immediately didn't like me because of the color of my skin. On the flip side, there would be a group of boys that liked me because of my skin color. Neither of these groups could know the true me because of their colorisms. I was glad that I always had my immediate and extended family.
My next stage of learning about colorism came from my family. I had an older cousin that was "color- struck". He would always say if the girl is light- skinned she is fine. LIES, LIES, LIES!!!! This turned out to be a common thread, in my race, towards attractiveness.
I was much older when I realized how damaging this thought process was to my self worth. I really didn't feel attractive because I knew my skin color shouldn't be considered but it seemed to be the main factor in being "chosen". I just read how Matthew Knowles chose his ex-wife because of her skin color. I immediately felt like a 13 year old girl again instead of a 42 year old woman. I didn't care for that piece of nostalgia.
The thing is, this way of thinking isn't new just because i finally had an epiphany. It dates back to slavery and it was taught so that my race couldn't come together as one and be the force we were meant to be. Playing one group of skin tones against the other was a genius idea because it is what has caused the most damage within our community.
What I have learned, in varying stages, is there are plenty of good reasons to like and dislike people but the tone of their skin doesn't need to be one of them. Choose love!
Well said. I have experienced some of the same issues and I must admit it makes me depressed. All I ever wanted was to be me but at times I feel as though that isnt enough because all people will ever see is the color of my skin. If they really stop and get to know me they would realize I am so much more.
ReplyDelete1st I apologize for the time. This comment just showed up for me. Im not sure of your age but i was in my late 30s when I gained some understanding. What I have come to know is that me being less of something or even more of something doesn't stop others from doing, feeling, saying his they want. You have to know that you are enough and that you deserve to share the real you because you are the only person that can do it. Those that are around you deserve to experience the whole you also. Please know that depression doesn't need to persist and you are able to overcome... one small step at a time.
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