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Tired of being sick and tired

When I started this blog I was doing it because I just have a passion for writing.  I have been writing and making my cousin read my stuff since we were 9 years old.  As time progressed I realized that I had feelings and emotions that I really wanted to get out.  I want to help others use their voice or maybe they just need help finding their voice.  My blog has begun to evolve into that tool for me.

For so many years I have been the peacemaker, the voice of reason, the one that others could count on.  All of these things are good if they are true to the person that you are.  Once I began to do as The Bible told me to do and examine myself I realized that I wasn't entirely happy in all of those roles.  I was like the sad clown with a smile painted on; misery was my constant friend.

Now the change I began to make with myself caused my oldest friend to make statements toward me that weren't true or even warranted.  I was extremely hurt by her words.  It was okay though because I found my voice and I was using it in a respectful way and the best way I could since now I would let others know when I was or was not okay with the way they were treating me.  Shoot if I didn't show others I wanted to be treated better or just differently why would they change?  The easy answer is that the only reason you're treated the way you are is because you're allowing yourself to be treated that way.

Now I know for sure that I always wanted more for myself I was just unsure about myself and I was more concerned with the way others felt than with the way others were making me feel.  That is no longer!

Now if I am unhappy or I am sad about something then I am going to be that way and screw what others may think.  We are all different and unique in our own ways and I wasn't doing anyone, least of all myself, any favors by holding pieces of myself back.  This is who I am.  The masks have been removed and I am no longer tired of being sick and tired.

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